I'm sorry to report that the elves have unionized. They can no longer independently contract out, nor could I afford one if they could. Santa is paying them well.
Not one to take no for an answer, though, I have improvised. Introducing Tink the Amazing Christmas Elf... See post below. Go ahead. I'll wait.
I'm not sure she'll be much help, but she is amusing. If cats could talk, I'm sure she'd be looking down her nose saying, "Really. Must you make me look like an idiot." Come on, Tink. Get in the spirit. It's funny. It really is.
All my girls want me to elf them. I don't think this is getting anything checked off my "to do" list, but it's hoot. A little elf happy dance is good fuel to get you through. Try it.